Blog

Published July 31, 2026 on Kidsburgh.org
Melissa Rayworth, Executive Editor of Kidsburgh

What are the best steps to take if you are noticing developmental delays or your child has been diagnosed with autism? Sometimes, parents may be unsure where to begin or how to proceed. To learn more, Kidsburgh spoke recently with The Children’s Institute of Pittsburgh President and CEO Dr. Johanna Vidal-Phelan, who is both a pediatrician and the mother of a neurodivergent young adult.

For nearly 125 years, The Children’s Institute has served the complex needs of children and young adults, and their families, to help them reach their full potential and lead their best lives. Programs include The Day School, early intervention services, family support services, and outpatient therapies, helping nearly 7,000 children and families yearly in seven counties across Western Pennsylvania.

Dr. Vidal-Phelan shared five helpful pieces of advice that can help parents who are navigating their child’s neurodivergence.

 

Begin with your pediatrician.

If parents notice developmental delays or challenges with communication, social interaction, behavior, or other developmental milestones, a conversation with their child’s pediatrician or provider is the best place to start.

“Because parents and caregivers often observe their child across a variety of settings and situations, they are often the first to recognize potential developmental concerns. If autism is a concern, the conversation should begin with the child’s pediatrician or medical provider. They can help determine whether further evaluation or specialized services may be beneficial and guide families toward appropriate resources and support,” she says.

“At The Children’s Institute, we work closely with families and community providers to support children with developmental and behavioral health needs. Our team helps connect children and families with evidence-based services, therapies, and supports that promote development, well-being, and long-term success.”

 

Every child is different.

Autism is one form of neurodivergence, a term that encompasses a range of differences in how people think, learn, and process information. If a child is identified as having a developmental delay, that does not necessarily mean they have autism,” Vidal-Phelan says.

“There is a wide range of potential developmental delays, including fine motor, gross motor, speech, and language delays,” she explains. “It’s important to carefully assess and understand each child’s unique needs.”

Just as important, every child diagnosed with autism doesn’t need the same level of support.

“It’s important to understand that supporting a child with autism often requires a multidisciplinary approach,” Vidal-Phelan says.

“There is no single treatment or one-size-fits-all solution. Every child is unique, with their own strengths, challenges, and needs. That can feel overwhelming for families and can also require careful consideration from a clinical perspective. Rather than relying on a single approach, we must first understand the individual needs of the child and family and then develop a personalized care plan that provides the right combination of services, supports, and interventions.”

 

Neurodivergent-affirming care is available.

There was a time when support for neurodivergent individuals was often approached from the perspective of “treating” or “fixing” autism or ADHD,” Vidal-Phelan explains.
 

Today, the conversation has shifted. Rather than focusing on a cure, the emphasis is on acceptance, understanding, and recognizing that people think, learn, and experience the world in different ways.

Today, neurodiversity-affirming care often includes interventions such as Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) and other evidence-based supports that are designed to help children and young adults build skills, increase independence, and improve quality of life. The focus is not on changing who a person is, but on providing the individual and their family with the tools, strategies, and supports they need to thrive.

One example, Vidal-Phelan says, is a behavior known as stimming.

“Some children with autism engage in self-stimulatory behaviors, commonly referred to as stimming,” she explains.

Stimming can serve a variety of purposes, including self-regulation, self-expression, or coping with excitement, stress, or sensory input. “Historically, the goal was often to reduce stimming simply because it was viewed as different,” she says. “A neurodiversity-affirming approach recognizes that these behaviors may serve an important purpose and should be respected unless they are causing harm to the individual or others.”

If stimming helps a child communicate, self-regulate, or navigate their environment, the goal is to understand its purpose rather than eliminate it. “We’re focused on understanding the reasons behind behaviors and supporting the child in a way that respects their autonomy, preferences, and individual needs,” she says.
 

The goal is to create an environment in which we see neurodivergence as, in my words as the parent of a neurodivergent child, beautiful. We have different brains, and our brains have different talents, strengths, and ways of functioning. We should appreciate the fact that, within the neurodiversity community, those differences should be welcomed, supported, and included, rather than viewed as negative or as something that needs to be cured.

 

Seek compassionate care & supportive community.

Families can cultivate acceptance within their own households while also seeking providers who practice neurodiversity-affirming care. If one provider is not the right fit, it is appropriate to seek a clinician who listens, understands your concerns, and respects your child’s individual needs.

A strong partnership with a pediatrician or healthcare provider can be especially valuable. Families benefit from working with professionals who take the time to understand not only the child, but the needs of the entire family.

“Creating an environment where children with autism or ADHD can thrive requires intention, support, and understanding from families and communities,” Vidal-Phelan says. “Parents and caregivers need support as well.”

She recalls that when her son was younger and frequently running, climbing, and displaying the high energy often associated with ADHD, she sometimes encountered judgment from others.

“There were not a lot of parents who were sympathetic,” she says. “I felt criticism and stigma, as if the expectation was that I should simply be able to control my child. But it’s not about controlling the child. It’s about understanding their needs and helping them succeed.”

The experience can feel isolating at times, she acknowledges, but it often becomes easier as families gain knowledge and support.

“This is a journey,” she says. “You don’t learn everything in a single day. Even as a trained pediatrician and the parent of a neurodivergent child, it has taken me years to fully appreciate the complexity and diversity of neurodivergent experiences.”

You are your child's best advocate.

“When a child receives a diagnosis such as autism or ADHD, parents and caregivers often find themselves taking on the role of advocate,” Dr. Vidal-Phelan says. “We advocate for our children at school, in community settings, in places of worship, on the playground, and anywhere they live, learn, and grow.”

Advocacy often includes helping others understand a child’s strengths, needs, and experiences. It also means creating opportunities for children to be themselves and to participate fully in their communities.

“We need to create space for our children to be who they are,” she says. “That is why acceptance is so important. Rather than focusing on changing who they are, we should focus on understanding, support, and helping them reach their full potential.”

Many neurodivergent young people today are expressing exactly that message.

“They are telling us, ‘We do not need to be fixed. We want to be accepted,'” Vidal-Phelan says. “I hear that from our patients and clients, and I hear it from my own son, who has ADHD and autism.”

Now a young adult, her son has a clear perspective: “He tells me that the goal is to understand his neurodivergence, recognize his strengths, and use those strengths to shape his future, his career, and his path in life.”